Hi! I’m Eric.
Here is some background on me although I want to know about you!
I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I have lived most of my life being outgoing but have internalized all my thoughts and emotions (I know I'm not the only one). It has taken a long time for me to realize that living that way, I limited myself from being truthful and honest with the people around me.
I grew up in a primarily single-family home. My mother has always been a rock in my life; however, we have experienced many struggles. Thankfully our love for one another has been unwavering. My brother and I are seven years apart and have different fathers but were raised in the same household. He and I have not always seen eye-to-eye, but we have developed a special bond that I am forever grateful for since our youth.
I am gay. I have known, at least when I look back and think about it, realized I was 'different' in 1996. I was sitting in Regal Theaters watching Titanic with my mom. When Rose let go of Jack, I began to sob and cry (so did my mom). I didn't realize it then, but I was crying over Jack. Through my adolescence, I looked back and rejected the notion that I am gay. Even though I cried so deeply over Jack…
My upbringing was rooted in a Christian, non-denominational lifestyle. Those years of my life were impacting and genuinely remarkable. I participated in outreach evangelistic programs, missionary trips, and an active role in the church's youth group. I devoted my life to developing my relationship with Christ.
I developed a deep-rooted sense of conviction coupled with betrayal within myself. The thoughts and feelings I had that would not go away no matter how hard I tried forced me to conceptualize that I was gay. "Knowing that this was wrong," I struggled with coping, accepting, and choosing to be straight versus gay. This internal strife cultivated a sense of impurity, dishonesty, and betrayal that ultimately pushed everyone in my life away from me.
I then left the church and the members therein that I cared so deeply about and searched for a community where I could be my most truthful self. After years of struggling with mental health, emotional instability, and social incongruence, I realized that being gay was NOT the problem. It took me a long time to navigate the self-identification process, but finally, I realized who and what I am…
I am, Eric.
I finally began to live a life built on the foundational principle of self-acceptance. I found strength in the support from like-minded individuals. Because of this radical and essential change in my life, I sought a higher sense of purpose. I then enlisted in the United States Air Force, Air National Guard, and became a Firefighter. Since I made this bold decision, I have performed and continue to serve nearly ten years of service, including two overseas deployments, multiple state-side activations including the response to COVID-19 in NYC, and Base Honor Guard support.
In the early years of this career, I met a man that captivated my entire world. We grew to love one another and lived a life that was intertwined. Eventually, this commitment led to our marriage. Subsequently, due to our immaturity, lack of effective communication, and unrealistic expectations for one another, we separated, which ultimately led to divorce. I am thankful for all the lessons I learned and the struggles we endured, which undoubtedly helped formed who I am today.
The divorce process was a challenging albeit liberating period of my life. And then, through luck, I met Frank, my now husband! At the time of our meeting, Frank and I had both recently disengaged from our previous relationships. We both found a uniqueness within one another and immediately sensed the inherent bond we now share. We met and started talking and have never stopped. Frank is the epitome that is my life. He is everything beautiful in this world, and he makes me complete, that and Apollo! I rescued Apollo when he was three months old; he's now 5!
Finally, feeling as though I am living my best life, my truth, and being the most unapologetic authentic self I can be, I found new life. Then the opportunity came to live a full-time professional life of public service. I entered into law enforcement: hands down, one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have lived a life of public service for nearly a decade: military, firefighter, now a police officer. Now ambition has struck again! Adding to the repertoire of tools and skills I have developed through training and experience, I am prospectively entering into graduate studies to one day hopefully earn a License in Mental Health Counseling. The sense of duty, purpose, belonging, and helping others is my niche.
So, I write all this to tell you that I am NOT gay, NOT a police officer, NOT a firefighter, NOT an Airman, NOT a divorcee, NOT a husband, NOT a dog dad, NOT a son, NOT a brother, NOT an uncle, NOT a friend…
All of these things make up the man I have become, but I am NOT singularly any one of these things. I have made the conscious choice not to allow my circumstances to define me. I recognize these attributes that make up my whole person, and I am very proud of who I am; however, at the end of the day, I am just me, Eric!
I have struggled with mental health, and I am here to tell you that it's okay if you are too. We all are.
At present, my life is focused on building and strengthening the ENL Brand and The Comoodity. The Comoodity, a play on the word community, is part of an advocacy movement focused on bringing awareness to mental health. The ENL Brand is an eCommerce store consisting of custom-designed apparel and home & living products. Think David Rose's store "Apothecary" in Schitt's Creek meets eCommerce and me!
The ENL Brand and The Comoodity share the same mission, which consists of 4 main goals:
SUPPORT each other through kindness, care, and love.
ADVOCATE Humanizing Mental Health.
EMPOWER each other to be our most authentic selves.
CONNECT society by bridging gaps in our social cultures.
If you've made it this far, thank you! Always remember, it's fine not to feel fine. Just know that feeling isn't going to last forever.
You matter. You are loved.
#HumanizeMentalHealth #enlbrand
